Anyway, we are still relatively early in this whole cancer journey, and it has provided much food for thought. Darren and I have mentioned several times how exponentially more difficult this whole thing would be if we were divorced, or addicted to something, or didn't really like each other, or were selfish. Just your everyday dysfunctional conditions that really don't coincide well with crisis management. There is a reason that couples are statistically more likely to get divorced during or after battling a lengthy illness of a family member--it is not easy to maintain a functional relationship with so many balls in the air.
Darren and I were lucky enough to have dated for five years before we got married. And even though it drove me absolutely insane at the time, I was lucky enough that he insisted on engaging in meta-communication. Big word that means communicating about how you communicate. Drove me crazy, but it paid off in bucket loads by the time we got married, because I had learned not to hang up, or walk out, or pout when things weren't going just the way I wanted them to go. And looking at so many relationships we have observed since that time, I am pretty sure that we are in a very slim minority of couples that communicate about anything functionally at all. It has served us well, and has become absolutely essential with this annoying cancer thing.
After we got married, we kind of considered it our responsibility to tell other couples we knew who were about to get married to be aware of particular problem areas that could arise during marriage, and the need for communication about them. Areas like money, housekeeping, time and sex. I don't think any of them paid any attention, because they had it all together and marriage would be a piece of cake for them. Sure it would be...
Since then, we have watched couples implode left and right, in good times and bad times. The signs are evident, but there have been few resources that are comprehensive and practical, without sounding like all you have to do is pray to make things better. Which makes all of this a very long introduction to a resource I have just reviewed by Sandy Ralya, who is the founder and director of Beautiful Womanhood. I signed up to review this before Harrison was diagnosed and I stopped officially reviewing books for a while, because I was curious to see if this resource was better than the Pollyanna resources that are out there now. It is.
I actually reviewed a series of resources for The Beautiful Wife. The main one is the book itself, but a separate Mentor's Guide and a Prayer Journal for the book were also included in my review package. I have to admit, I was skeptical, not because I thought the concept was lame, but because I have seen similar attempts to address this issue that have been so lamely done. Ralya did a very good job of writing about the issues that a woman faces as a wife, and at the same time offered practical guidelines and steps to begin working through these issues, either with or without her husband's involvement. Each chapter included questions for reflection, and well as some hands-on steps to do. This is where the prayer journal really comes in handy. While it is not necessary to use one to follow along with the book, it provided additional exercises and action steps that seemed much more useful than other prayer journals I have seen.
The content and format seem very well suited for one-on-one or group settings. The Mentor's Guide provided a very good outline for someone in that type of situation as well. I have never been involved in any type of mentoring program, but more and more churches seem to be offering programs like this one. I know of several that don't have any real type of curriculum or guidelines, and a resource like this would be most helpful.
This is the information put out by the publisher, which includes a Kindle giveaway. I mean, somebody is going to win it, so it is worth a few clicks to try to win. As of today, only 15 people have indicated that they have entered, so the odds look pretty good right now.
 | The Beautiful Wife uses these inspiring stories along with biblical principles to guide and encourage any wife looking for God's best in her marriage. The Beautiful Wife answers serious questions women have about their roles as wives. Discussing everything from romance and money to beauty, communication, and sex, Sandy challenges women to open up and share their journeys so that together they can see God's plan for their marriages. "It is my passion to help women discover God's heart for their marriage, just as the other women helped me," writes Sandy. "When women share with each other the details of their journeys with God as wives, it's a beautiful thing indeed." The Beautiful Wife has two companion resources - Prayer Journal and Mentor's Guide |
Celebrate with Sandy by entering her Kindle Touch Giveaway!
One beautiful winner will receive:
- A Brand new Kindle Touch with Wi-Fi
- The Beautiful Wife by Sandy Ralya
- The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal and Mentor's Guide by Sandy Ralya
But hurry, the giveaway ends 3/7/12. Winner will be announced at Sandy's "Beautiful Womanhood" Facebook Party on 3/8. Sandy will be hosting an evening of chat, laughter and encouragement - bring your friends! She'll also be giving away some GREAT prizes: gift certificates, books, prayer journals, gift certificates and a live chat with Sandy for your Bible study or small group!
You can also read what other reviewers think of these resources on the Litfuse blog tour.
And now, it is off to the hospital. Again.
Disclaimer: I received a complementary copy of these three books for review purposes as part of the Litfuse blog tour. No other compensation was received.
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